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Having sex for the first time: Tips & info to make it beautiful
You have a boyfriend, a girlfriend and could soon have your first time or just want to inform yourself? Then you will find in this article the best tips and information about what you should think about and what you should pay attention to.
Are you really ready for your first time?
You should definitely ask yourself and her this question before anything happens!
No pressure!
You should never do or have someone do something you don't want to do or aren't ready for. It's perfectly okay if you're not ready for sex.
Take all the time you need, even if you feel like all your friends have already had sex. The less pressure you put on yourself, the greater the chance that your first time having sex with someone will be a pleasant and enjoyable experience.
What is the average age for first time sex in Germany?
On average, most teenagers in Germany have their first time at 17.2 years old. For girls, it is at 17.0 years and for boys, it is slightly later at 17.4 years. It is interesting to note that the average age for having sex for the first time has been increasing in recent years. In 1998, 29% of 15-year-old girls and 10% of 14-year-old boys had already experienced their first time.
Average age of girls having their first time in Germany
Below you will find a short list according to the age of the girls and the percentage of how many of them have already had sex:
- Girls at age 14: About 2 to 4%
- Girls at 15 years old: About 9 to 13%
- Girls at 16: About 26 to 35%
- Girls at 17: About 37 to 69%
So 31 to 63% of girls experience their first time having sex at 18 or later.
Average age of boys having sex for the first time in Germany
Below is a brief breakdown by age of boys and the percentage of them who have had sex:
- Boys at 14: About 3 to 6%
- Boys at 15 years old: About 10 to 21%
- Boys at 16: About 35 to 37%
- Boys at 17 years: About 59 to 64%
So 36 to 41% of boys experience their first time having sex at 18 or later.
How to prepare for the first time sex
To make your first time having sex with someone as enjoyable as possible, here are a few more things you should do beforehand.
Talk about contraception
Talking about contraception before you have sex is incredibly important, because you want to prevent pregnancy and STDs.
Be very clear about which birth control method is used for women or for men.
Talk about STDs
This question is especially important if your partner has had sex before. Ask if condoms were used. If not, you should ask if your partner has been tested for STDs afterwards.
If this is not the case either, you should definitely use a condom!
Determine condom size and buy condoms
No matter if your partner has had sex before, our recommendation is to always use a condom of the right size. This will protect you from STDs and pregnancy, and as a boy, it will also help you last a little longer, as well as have more fun.
In addition, the right condom size will also protect you from the condom slipping off or bursting.
It will also protect you from partners who have lied to you about other birth control methods or STDs.
Find your perfect condom size in 4 easy steps
Use condoms correctly
Once you have found the right condom size, you need to use it correctly.
Learn how to put your condom on properly here.
Reading through this will also help you get the putting on done faster and get to the fun part.
Optional: Choose and buy lube
Lube can help girls if they don't get wet enough because of nervousness or in general and it doesn't feel good as a result. It will also feel better for boys if everything is flowing well.
Read on here to learn more about lube.
If you're gay (and otherwise) and you're trying anal for the first time, lube is especially important. Beyond that, you'll need to consider a few more things to make anal sex really good.
Read up on how first time anal sex works here.
How does the first time work?
Introduce the first time
You've probably already cuddled together, kissed, and maybe even caressed and explored the other person's body with your hands. Or maybe you have already playfully wrestled with each other. In the same way, you can initiate sex for the first time. Once you've started the caresses, you can run your hands under your partner's clothes.
Undressing and foreplay
Start from the upper part of the body and undress bit by bit. You can do this by yourself or maybe each other if it feels right. In between, you can kiss, cuddle and talk again.
During foreplay, you can kiss, caress, and massage the other person's body. Maybe you can also put the penis in your mouth or lick the vagina. Anything that feels good and that both of you agree to is allowed.
You'll know your body is ready for more when your vagina is wet or your penis is hard. Both should be the case before you go any further.
Put on a condom
She's wet, he's hard, and you're ready to take the next step? Then it's time to get the condom out and put it on before going any further.
Penetration and More
Next, the boy can lie on top of the girl or the girl on top of the boy while or before the penis is inserted into the vagina. Take your time here and go deeper step by step so that everything has time to adjust to the new situation.
Then you can move the hips so that the penis moves in and out. These can be larger or smaller movements. Especially for girls, it can be nicer if the boy stays deep and rubs against the vagina and clitoris with his pubic bone.
And then?
Meanwhile, you should talk and agree with each other. Use words and phrases like:
- That's good.
- Keep going like this.
- Firm
- Gentler
- Faster
- Slower
- Deeper
- Not so deep
- Try it like this ...
Paying attention to the other person's body helps, too. Does it look and feel like she or he likes it? Then keep going. Are you unsure? Then ask.
Most importantly, make the other person feel good, make him or her feel safe, loved, and valued.
Shortly before orgasm, you will probably feel a kind of tingling in your private parts. During orgasm, sometimes your muscles tense up a lot or start shaking. All this is quite normal.
If one person has an orgasm before the other, the other person can also continue with their mouth and fingers.
And don't worry if it doesn't really work out, the more often you have sex, the more "normal" and better it gets.
"No" and "I don't want this" are always an option.
Whether it's your first time or your 100th time having sex, the most important basic rule is always that you can ALWAYS change your mind.
"No," is always an option.
"I don't want this (anymore)," is always an option.
This goes for girls and boys, you should NEVER do or have anything done against your will, no matter how much you like the other person.
People who don't take "no," "I don't want this (anymore)," or other ways of saying that, or try to talk you into it, should not be having sex!
What is first time sex really like and how does it feel?
First time sex can be a fireworks display of emotions. It can be incredibly weird, unfamiliar, but also very nice and pleasant. The important thing is to always listen to your body and take enough time.
Does the first time hurt?
Whether the first time hurts is completely different. Some people experience slight pain, others do not.
To make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible, you should always make sure that the vagina is nice and wet. If it is not yet wet, you can extend the foreplay a little longer or use some water-based lubricant.
Anal sex should also be painless. Especially here you should use a lot of lubricant.
Under no circumstances should you use oils or greasy lubricants, because they can dissolve the condom and lead to infections.
The first time can be pretty damn weird
Everything about sex can be pretty darn weird the first few times. If you and your partner are inexperienced, the movements will feel unfamiliar and unnatural.
You may also not be able to start because you are both too nervous. This is also perfectly normal.
The sensations you experience may also be difficult to categorize at first and may even be a little uncomfortable. It is always important to listen to your body and its signals.
If something hurts or you don't like it, you and your partner can always try something else, stop or take a break.
By the way, just because it can be so weird, laughing and talking about it can help reduce nervousness and anxiety and make sure you have a good time, even if it might not work out so well.
Unfamiliar smells, tastes, shapes and colors.
Sex education in school has deceived us all. No vagina smells the same, looks the same or tastes the same and the same goes for the penis.
Many vaginas have longer inner vulval lips, just as some men have longer foreskins. Some vaginas or penises will have a stronger smell or taste than others.
And this is all perfectly normal.
What does sex feel like?
Because the vagina and anus are covered with a mucous membrane, you can run your tongue or a finger along the inside of your cheek. That's kind of what sex feels like.
Sex is not like in porn
Crazy positions, putting your penis in your mouth all the way to the base, having sex for hours without a break, anal without preparation. All this is often seen in porn.
The reality is VERY different. Many positions from porn movies may be nice for the movie, but are not comfortable for women or men and do not feel good.
Also many other things like anal sex need a lot of preparation, practice and most of all lube to prevent injuries and pain.
In real sex, there is more talking, usually only a few positions used, also laughed sometimes and sometimes it just does not work out so well or is over very quickly. Sex is and should not be a competitive sport, but something beautiful and fun for all involved.
12 short tips & info for the first time sex
- Use your tongue, lips and hands (no teeth), the vagina and penis are very sensitive.
- If you don't know what to do or how to do it, use your mouth or hands
- Have a towel or tissues nearby
- Your partner may shiver when he or she comes.
- Go to the bathroom to urinate afterward to avoid infection
- You may come sooner than you think
- You may not come the first time (even if you are a boy).
- Laughing during this is allowed
- Talking and saying how you like it, what you like or don't like is important
- Not hard or wet enough yet? Or come quickly? Mouth and fingers help
- Only very few women have an orgasm through penetration alone
- Have some water or other drinks handy in case you get thirsty
Conclusion: Having sex for the first time
The first time having sex with your partner can be very weird, unfamiliar, maybe even a little scary. With the right preparation, enough time and patience, having sex with someone for the first time can still be a wonderful experience.
If you want a fulfilling love life, you need to understand one thing: Good sex doesn't have to be perfect. Read the post now to learn more about it.
